


The Last

by wilsonrogers



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 18:03:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8023729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wilsonrogers/pseuds/wilsonrogers
Summary: A simple question turns into a life reflection of the things gone wrong, and the things gone right.





	The Last

**Author's Note:**

> I originally posted this on my tumblr (same user as this one) and decided to post it here with some minor changes made for more people to see! these babes are my ride or die and they deserve the happiness marvel won't give to them <3 
> 
> Also the summary kind of sucks but there isn't really a general one i can write that does the story justice

“Steve?”  
Soft and croaky, Sam’s morning voice disrupted the peaceful silence of the room. Steve stretched, sitting up to block his eyes from the sun.

“Yeah, babe?”

“Random thought but….how many did you love before me?”

“Love?” Steve scratched his head, trying to think past his strong desire to go back to sleep. “Um. Five. There were five.”

“Tell me their names,” Sam prompted. “What were they like?”

“Well, they were Who, What, When, Where, and Why.” Seeing the confused look on his husband’s face, Steve started to explain.

“Who I loved was my first female SSR colleague - Peggy. You know, she was like the typical All-American girl you wanted to bring home to your parents. Except she was British.”

“You’re so old fashioned,” Sam scoffed. Steve smiled and continued on.

“She was the first girl I knew for certain loved me back, so it was kind of like a cliche fairytale. She was the type of girl I fantasized about, a distant, seemingly unattainable dream. To be honest, who she became in my head was probably more than the reality. But as we got closer, I could also see her strength, integrity, and good heart. It’s only a shame we never had enough time, but who she was helped me become the person I am today.

“What I loved was a SHIELD coworker, a ‘blonde but not that blonde’ - Sharon. Though our first few meetings were kind of awkward, she became more than just a friend. We might’ve bonded because of Peggy at first, but we share other things in common too, you know. We saw each other change and grow throughout the years. She had everything I said I wanted - the personality, humor, intelligence, and badassery, of course. You and I both know first hand to not mess with Sharon Carter.” Sam chuckled in agreement as Steve went on.

“We were almost perfect. The only thing that wasn’t perfect was - when we finally shared our first kiss and confessed our feelings, our dynamic just - changed. It was like every good thing that had made our friendship so strong, made our love weak. What we loved about each other wasn’t enough to actually be together. This was something we eventually had to accept and move on from.

“When I loved was my best friend, the one who was always there - Bucky. He embodied my love and my youth. Your first love is something you’ll never really be able to replace or replicate, because, well, you only get one shot at it. Obviously, the timing wasn’t ideal. Even though our neighborhood was pretty accepting of us compared to the others, being out was still a threat to our lives. Not being able to be public about our love sucked, but we were pretty happy together. Then he was enlisted, my scrawny ass followed him, and, well - it just could never work out after that. I was in the ice, he was taken by Hydra, and when we tried afterwards, but it just wasn’t the same. We knew we were both trying to recreate the love we had in the 30s, but things changed. _We_ had changed, and it wasn’t fair to either of us to constantly compare each other to people who no longer existed. But even though we were just kids, I have no doubt in my mind that we were in love, and it’s a nostalgic love that I’ll always cherish.

“Where I loved was the most cunning redhead we know, so lethal people named her after one of the deadliest spiders in the world - Natasha. It was just after our first mission as Avengers - you know, the one where the council decided the best way to protect New York was to fire a missile at it?” Beneath him, Sam chuckled, and Steve could feel it tickle his chest.

“It was only a one night stand, but after that, we developed a bond I hadn’t shared with anyone since Bucky or Peggy. Natasha and I may have never been destined to be lovers, with our respective baggage too much for each other to handle, but she made New York, and each place we traveled to after that, whether for a SHIELD mission or just relaxation, a home. She was my first real home in this modern day, before you came along. She brought along new energy and new experiences that began to help me truly accept and move on from my past. Because of her, New York became familiar again.

“Why I loved was actually my mother. It’s not romantic or platonic like the others -” “Obviously,” Sam snarked, and Steve laughed, “but it’s valid nonetheless. I’ll never forget as she lay on her deathbed. She told me death wasn’t what saddened her the most, but the fact that she would never get to see me grow up, live my life and fall in love. She wouldn’t be there to cheer me on after my first kiss, she wouldn’t be there to see me look at someone with stars in my eyes, she wouldn’t even be there to witness my first heartbreak. She wouldn’t get to see me experience every emotion that comes with being in love, good and bad. Ma died teaching me that one of the greatest gifts in life to experience love with all its ups and downs. She taught me a life without love is a life wasted, and helped me to understand why.”

Silence filled the room as Steve’s last words faded away. Sam looked up from where he lay with a wistful expression on his face. He sat up to face Steve, lips quirked in that way of his whenever he was in deep thought.

“You were the sixth,” Steve said softly, gazing at Sam intently.

“The sixth...so where do I fit in in your five categories?” Sam mused, eyes narrowed in curiosity.

“You are none of them,” Steve replied, “because you are all of them.”

“How?”

“You are who I love. You are the person of my dreams, the fantasy come true, only this time, you won’t be leaving me any time soon.

“You are what I love. You are my confidante, my best friend, my partner. You’re the one I can have deep discussions with while fucking in the shower. We can talk about nonsense and bullshit like friends, but also hold hands and make out like a couple.

“You are when I love. I’m starting a new chapter of my life with you, and hopefully it’ll be one our older selves will -”

“You are your older self already, dumbass,” Sam laughed. Steve rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean, babe. Our older selves will reminisce about us now, and look back upon these memories with pure joy.

“You are where I love, because I’d go anywhere in the world with you. Every place we travel to together becomes our home in some unique way.

You are why I love, because somewhere along the way, I had lost myself. I didn’t really know what I was looking for. Meeting you made all my past suffering worth it, and gave my future a meaning.

“You are the sixth. And,” Steve took a deep breath, “you are the last.” He nervously looked into his husband’s eyes, waiting upon his reaction.

And Sam’s face split into a wide grin, eyes twinkling in mischief and in adoration and smiling That Smile, the one where he wasn’t afraid to let his tooth gap show and the one that was so genuine and pure Steve constantly strived to be the one to make Sam smile like that. “You sap,” Sam whispered.

“You love me,” Steve grinned back, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek.

“We love each other,” Sam responded.

And they did.

**Author's Note:**

> loosely inspired by a wongfu productions video of the same name! google it and check it out ;)


End file.
